Chinese comedy sketch: Do you beat your wife?

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Comedy sketch from early 2018 satirizing the rhetorical style of China’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs. “Leader: I asked you, do you beat your wife? Liu Gang: Your question is very irresponsible. Have you been to our home, do you understand our home? I invite you to visit our home as a guest, and see with your own eyes” Seems the English subtitled version is no longer available on YouTube. But the translation by

@CDT‘s Josh Rudolph is below:

Assistant: The final applicant in the recruitment assembly, Liu Gang to the stage

Formidable

Liu Gang: I pay my respect, Master

Leader: How can you have the nerve to apply for the job of Privy Council Spokesperson when your personal conduct is so dishonorable?

Liu Gang: Master, please don’t believe the rumor and slander

Leader: I ask you, at home have you beaten your wife?

Liu Gang: At home she couldn’t even get enough to eat, and now the living conditions at our house have improved considerably

Leader: I ask you, do you beat your wife?

Liu Gang: The developmental achievements of our household are plainly visible to the whole village

Leader: I ask you, do you beat your wife?

Liu Gang: Master, Old Wang from next door frequently beats his wife, why don’t you ask him?

Leader: I asked you, do you beat your wife?

Liu Gang: Master, at your house has a wife ever been beaten? According to my investigation, your great-grandfather beat his wife over a hundred years ago

Leader: I asked you, do you beat your wife?

Liu Gang: Master, I’ve already written “no wife beating” into our household rules

Leader: But do you follow those rules?

Liu Gang: The household rules are the internal affairs of our home, other people have no right to meddle

Leader: I ask you, do you beat your wife?

Liu Gang: I denounce all wife-beating conduct

Leader: I asked you, do you beat your wife?

Liu Gang: Your question is very irresponsible. Have you been to our home, do you understand our home? I invite you to visit our home as a guest, and see with your own eyes

Leader: Why do you beat your wife?

Liu Gang: Your question is brimming with prejudice against my home, I can’t understand where this arrogance comes from. Our home accepts all suggestions offered in goodwill, but refuses any type of warrantless accusation. So I say, ask a reasonable question, or don’t ask another.

Leader: Very good, very good! You are the one I want, the Privy Council’s very best spokesperson.

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youtu.be/VNJ9XnFcmEUhttps://chinadigitaltimes.net/2018/02/translation-beaten-wife-searching-spokesperson/

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