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It’s not easy but I have to TURN MY EYES UPON JESUS…or Chronicles of my illness.
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This is an empty cross, the empty cross. Christ is risen and He intercedes for us at the right hand of God.
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GOD BE IN MY HEAD
God be in my head, and in my understanding;
God be in mine eyes, and in my looking;
God be in my mouth, and in my speaking;
God be in my heart, and in my thinking;
God be at mine end, and at my departing.
Words: Sarum Primer, 1558
Music: God be in my head, Lytlington, Poplar
(http://www.oremus.org/hymnal/g/g114.html)
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BACK TO HOSPITAL: TUESDAY, 10 MARCH to FRIDAY, 13 MARCH 2015
1st hospitalization: I checked into the Fatima Hospital from 1 March. I was discharged on 7 March.
2nd hospitalization: On Tuesday, 10 March, 2015, with the help of a brother-in-Christ, I was hospitalized at the General Hospital, Ipoh. My urine was bloody again.
Was I depressed? Yes! 11 march was my 65th birthday and I was in hospital again.
However, there was a difference. The ward was crowded. Every bed was taken.Doctors, housemen and nurses were always around, always attentive. Each doctor who attended to me asked for my medical history and explained to me what was happening. Understanding what is happening to me is always important, and they conversed with me. Nurses were mostly young Malay girls but a few were trainee male nurses: every single one was kind, polite and caring. There was no bell to ring but the wave of a hand or a soft, “Nurse!” brought an almost immediate response.
I felt cared for and in a professional way. Thank you, GH doctors and staff!
STILL, NOTHING COULD TAKE AWAY FROM THE DEPRESSING FACT THAT I WOULD SPEND MY 65TH BIRTHDAY IN HOSPITAL or that the threat of cancer hung like an axe over me.
11 MARCH: 65 YEARS OLD. I wake up after a restless night. Depressed.
Early in the morning, my daughter-in-law sent a message: Happy Birthday, Da. The best birthday present is NO CANCER.
I smiled. I actually smiled. What a wonderful, positive message!
At about 10.00am, eldest son, who had gone to collect my biopsy report, sent a message: REPORT SAYS NO CANCER.
No cancer. NO cancer. NO CANCER!
I stared at my hand phone screen and wept silently. I wept in joy, in gratefulness to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER, LORD! Thank you.
“The Lord gives and the Lord gives more of life!” Amen.
In the evening, eldest son, daughter-in-law, grand son, grand daughter and wife came with a birthday cake and celebrated my birthday. BEST birthday celebration ever!
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This came from Lals. Thanks!
It Is Well – Kristene DiMarco & Bethel Music – You Make Me Brave
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Lyrics:
Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well
Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me
Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can’t see
And this mountain that’s in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea
So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well, it is well with my soul
Written by Kristene DiMarco © 2013 Bethel Music Publishing (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.
http://www.jesusfreakhideout.com/lyrics/new/track.asp?track_id=17318
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AND WHAT IF MY BIOPSY SAYS THAT I HAVE CANCER?
I will say as Job said: Praise be the name of the Lord! And then I will ask that the Lord gives me many more years before he takes my life away…
New International Version
and (Job) said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.”
Job 1: 21
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Here is a man, a king, who asked to live longer.
2 Kings 20 New International Version (NIV)
Hezekiah’s Illness
20 In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, “This is what the Lord says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.”
2 Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, 3 “Remember, Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.
4 Before Isaiah had left the middle court, the word of the Lord came to him: 5 “Go back and tell Hezekiah, the ruler of my people, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you. On the third day from now you will go up to the temple of the Lord. 6 I will add fifteen years to your life. And I will deliver you and this city from the hand of the king of Assyria. I will defend this city for my sake and for the sake of my servant David.’”
7 Then Isaiah said, “Prepare a poultice of figs.” They did so and applied it to the boil, and he recovered.
8 Hezekiah had asked Isaiah, “What will be the sign that the Lord will heal me and that I will go up to the temple of the Lord on the third day from now?”
9 Isaiah answered, “This is the Lord’s sign to you that the Lord will do what he has promised: Shall the shadow go forward ten steps, or shall it go back ten steps?”
10 “It is a simple matter for the shadow to go forward ten steps,” said Hezekiah. “Rather, have it go back ten steps.”
11 Then the prophet Isaiah called on the Lord, and the Lord made the shadow go back the ten steps it had gone down on the stairway of Ahaz.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Kings+20
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I TURN MY EYES TO JESUS, and crawl though I must, I will crawl to HIM!
Adam Cappa “Praise the Lord! He is good. God’s love never fails.” – Psalm 136:1-4 #Bible #Scripture
Monday, 9 March 2015
Today, I went out once, not twice, but that was enough. It gave me a taste of the goodness of life when you are healthy.
1st stop was the mechanic, to change spark plugs and tune the engine.
2nd stop was for breakfast. The wantan mee tasted as bad as ever but I shouldn’t eat curry yet. A glass of warm water, not the usual kopi-O. Everything’s bland.
3rd stop was at Stanley’s place, YSK Tecnology. “Could I use your toilet please?” Yes, of course, he’s such a good friend. He turned on the light, opened the door and washed up after me.
4th stop: College, to hand in my claim. They were concerned. Such caring people!
5th stop: Giant at Sunway Tambun. An ice-cream cone. Very delicious.
6th stop: bought a package of rice and char-siew. Will I have any appetite thoguh?
7th stop: home. WORN OUT by the outing…
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TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS and take a small step at a time….
Last night, the second night, I slept much better.
Instead of the restless sleep and getting up to urinate very 45 minutes, it was restful sleep, and urination was more than an hour each time, so I got twice the sleep of the first night.
Praise you Lord for relatively restful sleep.
Today, 3rd day out of hospital, 9 March, I will go out twice.
First to the college to submit my claim, and then to a supermarket nearby where toilets are close by and I can sit and watch people go by. A simple pleasure once ignored.
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In the discomfort, sometimes pain, of resting at home, I often verge towards despair.
Give me faith, Lord, help my unbelief.
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First meal of rice with soup was not easy. The taste is bland.
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First day home was yesterday, 7 March 2015. It was not easy. I was tired, weak, lethargic. Every few minutes, I had to urinate. No appetite.
But lots of love. My wife, sons, daughter-in-law and girl friend upheld me. The grand kids came.
My wife will bear the burden of my recovery.
Money is a worry, as I will have no income for at least a month.
First night was awful, having to get up every forty five minutes to urinate. Eventually, I didn’t go to the bathroom. My wife gave me a pail into which I could empty my bladder.
Today, 8 March, I don’t know what will come. At least I could eat a slice of bread and some Milo. That will bring some strength back.
Today is a Sunday and I want so much to be at church, to praise God with the others at church but I can’t yet.
God, turn my eyes upon you or I will surely despair!
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I spent 7 days in hospital, for trouble with my prostate.
It was not easy.
The prayers of many others surely helped But I have to travel this road myself. Not easy.
Next week, the results of my biopsy will be out.
My great fear is cancer.
I have to wait upon the Lord and ask for His mercy.
Hillsong – Turn your eyes upon Jesus (HD with lyrics) (Best Worship Song to Jesus)
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weehingthong 